Buttered Toast Wiki

Wisdom by Troutman

Troutman

17 pieces of wisdom

Profanity is the one language understood by all programmers.

First Troutman's postulateTechnologyPostulate

Not until a program has been in production for six months will the most harmful error be discovered.

Second Troutman's postulateTechnologyPostulate

Job control cards that positively cannot be arranged in improper order will be.

Third Troutman's postulateTechnologyPostulate

Interchangeable tapes won't.

Fourth Troutman's postulateTechnologyPostulate

If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.

Fifth Troutman's postulateTechnologyPostulate

If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.

Sixth Troutman's postulateTechnologyPostulate

Any running program is obsolete.

First Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

Any planned program costs more and takes longer.

Second Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

Any useful program will have to be changed.

Third Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

Any useless program will have to be documented.

Fourth Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

The size of a program expands to fill all available memory.

Fifth Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.

Sixth Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

The complexity of a program grows until it exceeds the capability of its maintainers.

Seventh Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

Any system that relies on computer reliability is unreliable.

Eighth Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

Any system that relies on human reliability is unreliable.

Ninth Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

Tenth Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw

Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

Eleventh Troutman's Law of Computer ProgrammingLaw