Buttered Toast Wiki

Wisdom by Klipstein

Klipstein

18 pieces of wisdom

All warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.

Klipstein's LamentLament

Any product cut to length will be too short.

Klipstein's ObservationObservation

In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's.

Klipstein's Law of SpecificationsLaw

A patent application will be preceded by one week by a similar application made by an independent worker.

First Klipstein's Law (General Engineering)Law

Firmness of delivery dates is inversely proportional to the tightness of the schedule.

Second Klipstein's Law (General Engineering)Law

Dimensions will always be expressed in the least usable term. Velocity, for example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.

Third Klipstein's Law (General Engineering)Law

Any wire cut to length will be too short.

Fourth Klipstein's Law (General Engineering)Law

Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty to assemble.

First Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

If a project requires n components, there will be n-1 units in stock.

Second Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

A motor will rotate in the wrong direction.

Third Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

A failsafe circuit will destroy others.

Fourth Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

Fifth Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.

Sixth Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

A purchased component or instrument will meet its specs long enough, and only long enough, to pass incoming inspection.

Seventh Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

Eighth Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been omitted.

Ninth Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.

Tenth Klipstein's Law (Prototyping and Production)Law

The most delicate component will be the one to drop.

Corollary to Law of Selective GravityCorollary