Wisdom by Finagle
23 pieces of wisdom
“Once a job is fooled up, anything done to improve it will only make it worse.”
“Science is Truth. Don't be misled by fact.”
“If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.”
“No matter what result is anticipated, there will always be someone eager to (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or (c) believe it happened according to his own pet theory.”
“In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.”
“No one whom you ask for help will see it.”
“Everyone who stops by with unsought advice will see it immediately.”
“Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.”
“The perversity of the universe tends to a maximum.”
“The information you have is not what you want.”
“The information you want is not what you need.”
“The information you need is not what you can obtain.”
“The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.”
“To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.”
“Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.”
“Always draw your curves, then plot the reading.”
“In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.”
“Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.”
“When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.”
“Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.”
“Always verify your witchcraft.”
“Be sure to obtain meteorological data before leaving on vacation.”
“Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.”